Sometimes you just got to just let the Detroit Out of you!!!

The Maryland DC area is not like Michigan, and definitely not like the Detroit.  The women in the area are thought to be passive-aggressive and petty.  Detroit women don’t have that issue.

When I started working in Maryland, I worked in a small department.  There were only about 10 people and we usually greeted each other during the day. Our Deputy Director, Allen, only had two rules for our department and we had to agree to them before he hired us.  1. You need to be present for the 8:00 am meeting on Wednesdays.  2.  You worked the hours you reported.  I can still hear him saying “We do not cheat the government.”  (Breaking the second rule was grounds for termination.)  They were pretty simple rules, and you would get a warning if you violated them, before actual action was taken.

Well, one of the Network managers, Bill, had problems with the second rule during the beginning of the project.  If his day was going slow, he would take off early.  Well, one day on his way out, Allen confronted him about breaking the rule.  Bill was irritated that he got caught.  He decided that the only way Allen could have found out was that if I had told him.  I will never know how I got into the picture, but that was what he thought.  Anyway, I found this out because Bill would make snide remarks towards me in meetings, or ask me about attendance, which was something I didn't pay attention too.  Finally, I asked him where these remarks coming from and he were told me that I kept track of everyone’s attendance and I had reported him to Allen.  My response was, “Let’s have lunch, my treat.”  I knew that Bill would agree to go; he would never turn down a free lunch.  After we ate, he went outside to smoke a cigarette.  I followed him outside to talk.  As he was lighting his cigarette, I said, “Bill, you don’t work for me, and I don’t work for you.  And, I really don’t give a fuck about what you do, what time you come in and when you leave.  It isn't my fucking job.  Are we clear?  Because we need to be clear, because I don’t want any more snide comments about this shit.”   His cigarette almost fell out of his mouth.  And then, he decided to defend himself.  He said, “I thought that you were reporting me, because you say goodnight to me when I leave.  I thought that was your sneaky way of announcing that I leave early.”  I told him that I don’t know what time he starts work in the morning and I don’t have to say anything to him in the morning or afternoon.  Well, I didn't say the word “anything.”  So the next question Bill asked was “Well how does Allen know that I have left early?”  I replied, “Well, you park in the back.  Allen’s office window, which by the way takes up the whole wall, faces the back parking lot.  Allen is in around 6 am and he works a few hours after his meetings so he doesn't go home until 6 or 7 pm at night.  He sees when everyone leaves.”  Bill replied, “Well in the afternoon, his head is down and he is working.”  I responded, “He knows when you leave, even when his head is down.  I know because I waved goodbye to see what he would do, and he waved back.”  Bill’s response was “Oh.”  Then I yelled, “If you don’t want Allen to know when come in the morning and when you leave, then park your Simple Ass in the front!”  He told me that I didn't have to be so mean.  After our conversation, I left.  My relationship with Bill was never the same after that, here was a man who helped build NASDAQ, but was an idiot.  

#simple
#iamfromdetroit
#rules