Friday, December 26, 2014

Well, there is crazy and then there is just plain stupid…Boundaries!!

I never really talked or dealt with my boss on a personal level, because it was inappropriate, and I didn't really want to know.  However, there were some things that were known.  First, when Keith got hired he was going through a divorce.  Divorces can be difficult and they are like snowflakes, no two are alike.  However, I did not talk to him about it, because it was inappropriate and I had just gotten a divorce 3 years prior.  It was still too soon for me to talk about relationships, much less divorce.  One day he started talking to me about his divorce, and I just said, “TMI”, smiled and walked away.  Anyway, things began to change the day he met Patricia.  He had decided to walk around his department and introduce himself, and I guess that is when he met Patricia.  I noticed it, because it was obvious, and everyone noticed it.  Patricia was flirty and attractive, but in a “slutty” type of way.  For example, one day Patricia needed the assistance of one of the Network engineers that was in my office having a conversation.  So, instead of just interrupting my conversation and asking for assistance, she came up behind him and rubbed up against him.  And then, she asked for his assistance.  Since he wasn't attracted to her, he didn't display a happy expression; he instead rolled his eyes and stated that he would see if he had time later to assist him.  He commented on her behavior after she left.  I didn't say anything, because there was nothing to say, she was a 45 year old woman, she knew better.  I got along with Patricia, but she annoyed me, because she always tried to use her sexuality to get over, even though it didn't seem to be necessary. 

didn't have an issue with Keith and Patricia having a relationship outside of work, because it was none of my business and I liked it that way.  However, Patricia was more than happy to publicly exploit her relationship with him and sometimes it was hard to ignore.  It got to the point where her manager would just ask her in the weekly meetings whether or not she and Keith had any work related discussions outside of the office that might affect his department.  And, she would provide information.  I don’t think that Keith was aware of it.  But, I do think that he began to realize that boundaries were beginning to be crossed…

One day, I was in the office chatting with some of the co-workers and Patricia walked in.  “Hey Cara, you are just the person that I wanted to see.”  “I am.  Why?” I replied.  “Well, I thought that you could help me.  You know that new online dating website that allows you to recommend guys for other women to date?  I think that we should create a profile for Keith!  I think that would be a great idea.  What do you think?” she asked.  “Are you insane?  Hell no, he is my boss.  That is inappropriate, no, absolutely not.”  I said, “Why not?  He just finished his divorced and he is a great guy.” she replied.  “Patricia, I am not having this conversation with you about Keith, period!” I replied.  “Not having what conversation about me?” Keith asked.  He was standing right behind me. “Oh, it was nothing.” Patricia responded.  Keith walked into his office.  Patricia looked at me and said, “You had better not tell him what we were talking about.”  I responded, “I will not volunteer the information.  But, if he asks, I am singing like a bird.  Tweet, Tweet, Tweet.”  And, I went back to my desk.  

#boundaries
#onlinedating

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