My Mama Didn't Raise A Fool. I Ain't Goin’ Out Like No Punk.

I realized during my last blog, that I had never mentioned that profanity was not permitted on our government contract.  Profanity is not usually encouraged in the private sector either, but they are not usually strict about usage.  On my first government contract, we actually had a workshop on proper behavior in the workplace, internet use and profanity.  These issues were mentioned in our hiring contract; however an incident must have occurred because this topic was brought up again with policies that were stricter than before.  For example, profanity on the work site including phone had always been grounds for termination, but now you could be terminated if someone called or emailed you at work and they used profanity on government property.  We were told that if we had friends or family that contacted us on the job site, we needed to notify them of this new rule.

Well, obviously I didn't have to notify my mother.  Because, she is one of those people who believed and still believes that the Government is always listening.  However, I did have to call my friend Jill, who swore liked a sailor and my brother the truck driver, who swore like a truck driver.  So, I called them and I let them both know about the new policy.  I thought that there would be no complaints.  Also, I thought that I was dealing with mature adults.  I was wrong on both points.  My friend Jill and my brother had the same argument; they thought that it wasn't fair that I could be fired for something that someone else did.  My response was that life isn't fair and they were the customer and I was using their equipment on their time.  If my friend or my brother wanted to use profanity, they could still call me on my cell phone or email me on my personal email.  I didn't have an issue with that.  The real issue was convenience.  It was more convenient to call me or complain about their day while I was at work.  The other issue they had was the fact that the conversations and emails were being monitored.  Once again, it was the client’s equipment and their time.  Also, I didn't really care about that because I had already spent a large part of my career being monitored.  When I was in college, I did surveys for a marketing company.  They always monitored your calls.  Shortly after I graduated, I worked at TRW as a contractor, and monitoring calls was a standard procedure there as well.  So, I didn't really care.

I had a main concern as well, but neither my friend nor my brother was able to recognize it.  I just didn't want to be fired because of what someone else said to me over the phone.  I mean, how do you explain that on a job application?   Please enter why you were terminated:  “Well, my girlfriend had a bad day at work and she dropped the f*bomb while talking to me on the phone. “ or “Well someone cut my brother off while he was driving and talking to me and a stream of profanities were yelled out.”  This was not going to be my story!! I was not going to lose my job because they had no self control!!  My Mama did not raise a fool.... 

After arguing with them about the new rule, I simply stated that if you call me and you start swearing, I will hang up on you, immediately.  Do not be surprised.  Both Jill and my brother were able to hold it together for about a month.  Jill was first… 

Jill:  “Hi Cara, how are you?”

Me: “Fine, how’s it going?”

Jill:  “Crazy, you won’t believe what this mother.” (Click.) ”Hello..”

Jill called me 2 minutes later. 

Jill: “Did you just hang up on me?”

Me:  “Yep.

Jill:  “You’re serious, no swearing.  I am having a bad day.”

Me:  “Serious as a heart attack.  If you have to swear, it will have to wait until I get home.”

Jill:  “Well, I don’t think this new rule is fair.”

Me:  “Don’t care.  It is what it is; I will talk to you later.  Bye.”

The phone conversation with my brother took a similar route.  I don’t think he thought that I would hang up on them that fast.  For some reason they both thought that I would either warn them or not say anything.  Obviously they were mistaken. 

#profanity

#lifeisnotfair

Mucking Around

Every once in a while when I was really busy, I liked to take a short break.  Usually, I would go to Angela’s desk and just talk or maybe be silly for a while.  I wouldn't do too much because at this time, Angela’s desk was right next to Keith’s office.  However, that usually didn't stop me from having a little fun. 

One day I went over to Angela’s desk, and there was a lot of commotion in front of Keith’s office.  The Infrastructure engineers and some of the managers were in front of his office.  They were upset because Keith had just removed their Administrative rights to the system and they were angry.  When they inquired why, Keith’s response was…”Why??!!  Because you are making changes to the testing environment without notifying the testers, the project, the lab managers or even the other engineers working in your department, and everyone is suffering.  We have issues with the environment all the time.  The projects are unable to get their testing completed on time and they are blaming us for not providing a stable environment.  We manage the labs, and we will control the system administration access.  From now on, if you want to make changes to the testing environment, you will have to make a request and provide a valid reason.  From now on, there will be no more Mucking around with the environment!”    (Note: The Government does not allow you to use profanity on government property.)  The yelling and arguing continued in front of his office for a good while.

Meanwhile, I turned to Angela, and said ”There will be no more Mucking around with the environment??”  “Yes.” She said.  “Haven’t you ever heard that word before?” She asked.  “No. But I like it.” I replied.  

Cara:  “Angela, have you been Mucking around with the environment?”

Angela: “No, Cara, I have not been Mucking around the environment.  Have you been Mucking around with the environment?”

Cara:   “Well, no, I have not been Mucking around, well at least not with the environment.  Angela, do you think that maybe they have been Mucking around with the environment, because they have not been able to Muck around?”

Angela:  “Well, I don’t know.  I just know that Keith just told them that they can’t Muck around with the environment anymore, so I guess they will have to find something else to Muck around with?”

Cara and Angela:  “Hmmn??!”

Keith:  “Hey!!  I have heard enough from the Peanut Gallery back there!!   Angela, don’t you some work to do?  Cara, I know that you have work to do.  I don’t have to ask.” 

Cara:  “ I was just taking a break.  I will go back to my desk” 

As I was walking back to my desk, I put my head down a little.  Keith showed no sympathy, Meanie.  I guess he meant it, no more Mucking around.

 #muckingaround

Angela’s Story

Angela and I met after she had been rehired onto our project as a tester.  Her office was right across the hall from mine.  She seemed fairly nice.  Usually the first few weeks, you have some time to ease into your new job.  The drama does not usually start until about after a month or so.   However, this was not Angela’s fate, drama started after the first week.  One of the testers did not want to come in at 3 am to start testing and since Angela was new, they decided that she should do it.  When Angela was approached she explained that she needed 24 hours notice for work scheduled outside her standard hours because she was a single parent and that this issue was discussed and agreed upon during her interview.  The tester was not happy with her response, and that is where the trouble began.  The tester went to the Deputy Director, Bob, to complain.  Angela had to go to Bob’s office….

Bob: “Hello Angela, I hear that we have an issue.  You have been asked to go home and return at 3 am tomorrow morning.  I was told that you refused to do so because you are a single parent.  Well Angie, I know that don’t have the luxury of having a husband, but...”  Angie interrupted, “A luxury?!! Is that what you are to your wife, a luxury??  I don’t have the luxury of having a husband??!!  I made it perfectly clear that I was a single parent during the interview.  I said that I could work late or non-standard hours if you gave me a 24 hour notice.  And, your hiring manager agreed to these terms during the interview.  Now, one week after I have been hired, you come to my desk at 9 am and ask me to go home and return at 3 am in the morning to start testing.  Does that sound like 24 hours to you? I have a two year old son, but I can make arrangements.  But no, I do not have the luxury of having a husband. “

Bob replied, “Ok Angela, let me call Keith.  We will figure out something.”  Bob called Keith and put him on the speakerphone.  “Keith, we have a problem, we need a tester to start testing at 3 am.  Angela came in at 9 am this morning, and I wanted to send her home, however, she needs 24 hour notice to work non-standard hours.”  Keith replied, “Well, if we promised her 24 hours, then we need to assign another tester to go home and return at 3 am.  If she can’t do, she can’t do it.”  Bob responded, “Well, what do you want Angela to do, since she can’t test anything today?”  Keith replied, “I don’t know.  I don’t care what she does!”  Bob answered, “Keith, she is standing right here.”   “Oh,” Keith said.  Angela stormed out of Bob’s office and went straight to mine and she told me the whole story. 

After she told me the whole story, I told her that when she sued CGTN and won the company, I wanted her to remember that I was her friend, and I wanted to keep my job.  My office mate said the same thing. 

Well, there was not a lawsuit, but Angela was never asked to come in and start testing at non-standard hours.  In fact, our department loaned her out to the Testing Management Department for the next year, so she had little contact with Bob or Keith.  She still had a desk in our department, but she was rarely there.  Things went smoothly for Angela until there she had to transition back to our department.  But, that is another different and crazy story.  

#singleparent
#luxury